Sunday, December 30, 2007

Congratulations Zed Diyana!

Buat mereka yang tidak tahu ataupun tidak dijemput sama sekali, kawan saya yang bernama Zed Diyana binti Zulkafli telah selamat diijabkabulkan dengan seorang ahli gusti yang nama pentasnya ialah Test. Tapi kalau nama betul Nizam Haris Md Ishak dan dia sebenarnya bukanlah seorang ahli gusti seperti yang digembar gemburkan. Majlis persandingan bagi pihak perempuan dilangsungkan pada hari Sabtu bersamaan dengan 29 Disember (akad nikah a day before, so i wonder if something happened in between haa haa haa). Aku sepatutnya bekerja pada hari itu, namun faktor kesihatan menghalang aku untuk pergi melayan kerenah pelanggan2 HP daripada Amerika Syarikat. Setelah berjumpa doktor dan mengambil ubat, aku gagahkan jua diri ini untuk bergembira di kenduri kendara (ade ke ayat camtu). Terharu tak Zed Diyana? Di post ini aku sertakan gambar2 perkahwinan untuk tatapan korang yang tidak dijemput ataupun teman2 rapatku yang tidak dapat hadir yang berada di luar negara seperti Adam Johari, Mohd Dazrul, Anas Mohd Mustafah, Nurhisyam Suhaimi dan Kenny G. Cis gambar aku sekeping saja. (Gambar2 ihsan RTM dan Amirah Alia).

Dari kiri: Suzana, Amirah Alia binti Abdul Jalil, Ahmad Shuhud Irfani Bin Zakaria, Mohd Jamil Fathi bin Jamaludin, Nizam Haris Md Ishak, Zed Diyana binti Zulkafli, Brad Pitt, Nurdatillah binti Hasim pun ada, Adliza Galah, Evi Vidyana, Malik Jackson (lihat tangannya begitu mesra berpaut pada bahu Am), dan Mohd Ikram bin Rahim. Klik Read More untuk gambaq2 seteruihnya.

Nikmatilah gambar2 selebihnya yang aneh kerana tiada gambar aku. Cis Alie (teman lelaki Amirah Alia) kau memang keji. Alie ialah photographer tidak berbayar yang bertanggungjawab mengambil gambar2 ini.

Sungguh gembira wajah mereka mengalahkan pengantin yang sudah letih melayan kerenah mereka yang asyik ingin bergambar. Dari kiri: Syifa, Maisarah, Bc, Zed, Yuya, Seri, dan gadis raksasa yang tidak ku kenal.

Ahh walaupun pedih hatiku asyik2 gambar Amirah Alia tapi nak buat bagaimana dah cameraman jejaka dia. Adakah korang tahu? Lagi 2 minggu Aizura binti Abdul Rashid (baju ungu) pula akan melangsungkan perkahwinan dengan jejaka badan tough dari Fitness First.

Sebenarnya banyak lagi gambaq tetapi sebab tiada wajah aku maka aku pun tak mahu dah nak letak. Gilak ah rakan2 sudah berkahwin. Giliran siapa pula selepas ini. Nahh ini ranking ramalanku siapa yang akan berkahwin selepas ini berdasarkan pengalamanku bermain bola baling sejak sekolah rendah.

1) Aizura - kompem lg 2 minggu
2) Adam Johari - bulan 8, 2008?? hukum kahwin: harus. Mampu memberi isteri nafkah zahir dan mungkin kadang2 batin.
3) Anas Mohd Mustafah - sudah bertunang. besar kemungkinan tahun depan juga.
4) Amir Rashidi - makruh berkahwin, mempunyai keinginan seksual yang tinggi tetapi belum cukup wang simpanan.
5) Mohd Dazrul - Dazu sudah ada gadis korang jangan main2 gadis sarawak tu dia sumpit baru tahu.

Tidak berminat untuk berkahwin: Zulkifli bin Ibrahim.

Sori Zed aku memang gemar membuat perangai sebegitu tak kiralah ini majlis perkahwinan anda. Ok later. Kawen jemputla aku menyanyi di majlis korang k. i lap u all.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Guitar Hero 3 : Legends of Rock

I'm good at spending my money at stuffs that my mom will probably throw it away when I'm not aware of it like my Alam Perwira/Dewata Raya/Juara Wira comics, my Micro Genius and soon ps1, my old school toys like Michelangelo figurine with the Pizza Thrower or my Mask and Captain Power videotapes. So just imagine her bebelan when I brought home the Guitar Hero box (just after one week I bought the 360 haa haa). I kinda tipu sunat when she asked about the price because I didn't wanna hear another bebelan about why I spend RM 380 on the device. For those who have never played Guitar Hero before, the quick explanation is that you have a guitar controller with five colored buttons and a strummer. Notes will appear on the screen, and you hit the matching buttons, and you rock tewww tewwwww tenewww. Ohh and if you think you can master this game just because you were able to play Knights of Cydonia with real guitar, think again. Click Read More.


RM380? That's too much. But hey, kekoolan by actually owning the wireless Gibson for Xbox 360 is priceless. The guitar is bundled with the original Guitar Hero 3 game that's why it's expensive. Anyway this game has a wide variety of rock songs for you to shred from all eras. Classic rock? we got Kiss' Rock n Roll All Nite, Santana's Black Magic Woman and Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast. If you're a punkhead, you will be happy to hear Sex Pistol's Anarchy in The U.K, Dead Kennedys and Social Distortion's Story of My Life. Modern rock hits? Sure. How about Knights of Cydonia by Muse or The Killers' When You Were Young? You want metal? Rock on with Metallica's One, Slayer's Raining Blood or Tenacious D's the Metal. Slipknot dan Disturbed juga ada. Fuhhh.

This version of guitar hero also include boss battle where you can rock off with Tom Morello from Audioslave/RATM or Slash (GnR/Velvet Revolver). Mannnn i always wussed out againts Tom because I could never beat him in time before he gave the finishing 'goreng'. We can also play co-op career mode where sorang menggoreng sorang lagi rhythm/bass. Wait, there's also a game called 'Rock Band' where you can jam with a guitar, a bass, a mic and a drum...yes a drum. How much would it cost? RM800 lebey kurang haa haa. Like i said, don't assume that you'll be strumming easily along the way if you know how to play guitar because the some of the Hard and Extreme (all of em!) difficultly will make your arm falls off during the second half of menggoreng. Some of my personal favorite track is Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover, Smashing Pumpkins' Cherub Rock and Hit Me With Your Best Shot by sape tah.

So come on, bring on your guitar (or your lame controller at least) and lets rock off!! Ohh here's an insane video about 9 year old kid shredding the hardest song on the game 'Through the Fire and Flames' on Extreme!


Thursday, December 20, 2007

Happy Raya Day

Today is Hari Raya Aidiladha. Today I bekerja. Today I tak sembahyang raya. Todayyyy is gonna be the dayyy that they're gonna throw it back to youuu. Today I'm gonna wish you all selamat menyembelih kibas dan lembu.

So yellow brown, black or white, on this Hari Raya let's stop racial hatred and start to unite. Jika berlaku pertumpahan darah pun, biarlah darah unta ataupun kuda (bole ke korban kuda?) yang mengalir. I love you all. Btw yesterday I went to KLCC after work. Teka siapa aku jumpa? Anuar Zain haa haa jeles tak jeles bukan. Ok Later bebeh.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The March of Red Army

One point in the opening three games. And everyone thought that "You're finished". And then, 8-0 drubbing of Besiktas, pounced Porto 4-1 and finally (and easily) trounced Marseille 4-0 in Stade Velodrome. You see, when we win, we do it with style and aplomb. Never ever write us off. King of Comebacks is our middle name. A little deja vu maybe? Final group match against Olympiakos in the 2004/2005 season. Olympiakos lead 1-0. We need 3 goals to advance. And we did just that. Well, not just that actually, we went all the way to the Final and bangg diketuk 3-0 by Rossoneri at the first half. As a faithful Reds, I didn't leave my seat. I just stood there (Restoran Ayam Kampung Rimba belakang Ameerali) menahan sebak dan hiba dan hangin kerana kawan2 tak berhenti2 mengutuk dan mengadu domba. Then, the 7 minutes of madness. Do I need to explain more? No I don't. So if you're a Manchester United fan, be afraid. Be very afraid this weekend. Click read more.

This post is dedicated to all Man U fans. I, Mohamad Faizal bin Rosly, challenges Akak Abe, Abe, Adik Abe, Adam Johari, Mohd Dazrul, Nurhamizah Rahim, Hisyam Suhaimi, Nur Ikmar Idris, Tengku Amir Afendi, Zahrul Izwan, Saiful Izwan, Mohd Radzman, Hazim, Azuddin, Abu Zar Sohadis, Nazry Fitry, Zaharul Ramzan, Shihabudin, Ali Akbar, Brijesh, Awang, Ezry Yusry, Fakhri, Akmal Hisyam, Najmi Nordin, Roy Keane, and ___________ (Fill your name here). Sape yang menang boleh mengutuk pihak yang kalah selama seminggu dan harus tabah dan redha dan tak boleh balas kutukan. Bagaimana? Berani tak?

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Best Tv Show In This Whole Wide World

No, it's not Alias. Not anymore. Sorry Syd, you've been toppled by the World's Best Boss. Click Read More.



What is the BEST tv show ever? It's The Office! Yes babe, not Grey's nor Supernatural ok? Hee hee. What??!! You guys haven't seen the show? Ok maybe not the British version, but how about the U.S version? Come onnnn. So what's so great about it? The Office is a mockumentary which deals with daily life of Micheal Scott, the Regional Manager of a paper company called Dunder Mifflin and his employees. So why should you guys watch it? Because it's so effing funny. I will personally wash your underwear/leopard g-strings if you watch an episode and weren't laughing at all. You don't have to watch it from season 1 to appreciate the show. I myself started watching it from season 3 (it hard to get the first to season btw, unless you buy the dvd). So let's Meet the Fockers. Err I mean my top 3 favorite employees of Dunder Mifflin. Ohh it's just my own interpretation of the characters, btw.

1) Michael Scott, Regional Manager (played by Steve Carell from 40 Years Old Virgin)
Micheal thinks he's funny. But his jokes are always inappropriate, racist, offensive and menyakitkan hati. And he don't realize that. What makes it funny is his lack of self-awareness, which is highlighted by the awkward situation he creates for himself and other people and how he handles those embarrassing moments. He's also 'stupid' and lurus bendul. There's an episode where he drove his car into a lake because he followed the gps system in his car which made me laugh for hours. Michael always berlagak pandai and conduct seminars that range from sexual harassment, the handicapped, black people, drugs, homosexuality, prison, and women's appreciation in an attempt to educate his staff, who all seem more aware of and more mature about the subject matter than himself. But despite all of his flaws, he has a desire to make everyone happy (except for Toby). He went to great lengths to save the jobs of his employees. He threw away birthday parties to all of his employees. Man i should post an entry about Michael. Yes. I will. Someday. There's so many things that you need to know about him.

2) Dwight Schrute (Assistant to the Regional Manager)
Dwight considers himself as Michael's right hand man. He always show his blind support for Michael no matter what. He idolizes his boss and Jack Bauer (from '24'). He is a farmer and has a farm called Schrute's Farm and sometimes turn it into Bed and Breakfast. His colleagues consider him a freak and weird, except for Angela, his secret girlfriend (but they broke up recently because Dwight killed Angela's cat). Dwight lacks social skills and hated by everyone but he's the top salesman in the office. He even beat the webpage! Way to go D. He's obsessed with power, yet still naive and always fall for Jim's pranks.

3) Andy Bernard (Regional Director in Charge of Sale)
Andy is a funny and lovable character. To me, at least. He's always overconfident, talks big all the time, thinks he's good with woman and even plays Call of Duty. He has an anger management problem, but still have a sweet side. You girls (and maybe some guys like me) will fall for him easily because of his mengurat tactics. The scene where he sing a song to Angela is kinda cool. Andy is originally from Stamford branch before being transferred to Scranton. He's competitive and very good at membodek and tries to snatch Michael attention from Dwight.

And of course there's Jim, Pam, Stanley, Kevin, Creed, Angela, Phyliss, Meredith, Ryan, Kelly, Jan....

So? Ceq tau ampa sudah terkeluaq ayaq liuq mendengaq pasai the offih nih. Jangan tunggu lagi sila dunlod (www.eztv.it) atau mintak saje kat aku.
We'll discuss the price later. Ohh the show is currently on hiatus due to the writer's strike. Pleasee penuhi saja tuntutan mereka jangan biarkan aku kesunyian tanpa jenaka2 bangang abang maikel...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Uniten Alumni Homecoming 2007

I didn't know about this until Miss Dela called me and told me about it. Let's follow the conversation.

Tutt tutt. Tutt tutt. Tutt tutt.

Ijai: Thank you for calling HP Total Care. This is Faizal. May I have your name please?
Miss Dela: Hai Faizalllll. Ini Miss ni. I love your performance in the Clear advertisement.
Ijai: Eh no no that wasnt me that was Rain the popular Korean singer.
Miss Dela: Ohh really? I thought that was you. Nevermind then. U pegi alumni tak?
Ijai: Alumni tu apa? Sejenis makanan ringan ke?
Miss Dela: ..........(7 seconds moment of silence)
Ijai: Haa haa tak lucu ke? When is the alumni? Who's going? What should i wear? Why should i go? How much?
Miss Dela: Tidak. 1 December. You. Batik. Because you're handsome. 50 bucks.

Tutt tutt tutt tutt (perbualan tamat kerana syiling telah abes digunakan). Klik Read More ataupun tajuk untuk kisah2 dan gamba2 menarik dari Alumni.


So that was it. 1 December, i asked Ezu to fetch me at home but she sakit perut(tipu ni). I waited in front of MPH and i could see some familiar faces walked towards me. It was Miss Dela and her husband. Arghhh suma orang pakai batik and I was the only one yang bergaya dengan baju melayu. Miss Dela said that i was handsome (tak tipu ni). Of course she said that. Why would she lie? Then we registered ourselves and paid the entry fee limaploh hengget mahai aaa.

Yay then i met Eleanor Ezura, Nadiyana, Khairunnisa, Chua Shi Yun (don't be a silent reader ah yun, lei hou leng), Hamizah, Diyana bukan Puzi, Mr. Tj Iskandar and all the mak datin/hot milfs. The program started with speeches yadda yadda yadda bla bla bla wrap it up already Leo Moggie I'm hungry. The food was bad. Not worth paying 50 bucks. Well actually it wasn't THAT bad. Sebab aku tak dapat nak tambah nasik dan lauk je tadi hee hee. So i grabbed the desserts from the other table and baham it yum yum. We were entertained by Khadija (she was from Uniten??) Lokman Hakim (sumpah aku tak kenal) and Aris Ariwatan (uniten dropouts??). Yes babe Aris Ariwatan. Miss Dela you were right we should go for Anuar Zain or maybe his sister next year. But in all, it was entertaining. Except for those afro bitches who danced like they were high from sniffing their own armpit. Finally, lucky draws! Yayyy. The first number that they picked, 0109 ahhhh mine was 0108. I felt angry looking at those people bringing back the hampers to their seats. But hey, maybe i was destined to win the Naza motorcycle or the laptop. Yeah maybe. So i just waited, acted cool and bertawakal. Then, jeng jeng jeng they annouced, 0....1......0......8 whoossshhh I jumped out from my seat screaming ohh yeahhhhh. The emcee said "He was very happy...". Of course I was you dildo. So I went in front, grabbed my prize and seperti biasala kan riak terhadap rakan2 dan lecturer2 di belakang. But it was so small. I wonder what was in it. They asked me to open it so i did. ................................................................Nokia 2630. Peace. See you guys next year.

Kalau dah hensem pasti menang apa saja.



Bergambar bersama rakan2 dan lekcerer tercinta.


Dah menang hp baru pastila gadis2 datang mendekati.


Semakin ramai gadis datang aku semakin kaget diorang mau mencurik hp baru aku.



Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tonight

What will happen tonight? Click Read More.

Tonight we will fight for our lives,
We'll never give up we will strive,
We must beat Porto in order to advance,
Go to zoo Quaresma you won't have a chance,
Captain Marvel will inspire us all,
Together we rise together we fall,
Stevie G's too good to be true,
Can't take the ball off of you,
He will break Lucho's leg tonight,
Shut up and get the hell out of our sight,
Tonight the Kop will shout and Anfield will roar,
"You'll never walk alone" erupts it the air,
Come on lads show the spirit of Istanbul,
Playing in UEFA Cup is not cool,
We're the Scouse we fear no one,
Not Postiga not even the Taliban,
Tonight we will show you why,
We'll never walk alone and we will smile...

Come on Reds walaupun aku shift malam arini akanku ponteng sejam dua untuk memberi sokongan. Peace.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thank You for Calling Hp Total Care

Goodbye Idwal. Hello TeleTech.

Untuk korang yang masih tak tahu, aku sudah meninggalkan Idwal Systems Sdn Berhad kesayanganku sudah lebih sebulan. Sudah lebih sebulan juga aku terpaksa bangun pagi pukul 5.30 setiap hari mengharungi kesesakan jalan raya untuk ke kotaraya. Awal2 dulu aku menggunakan taktik menumpang Jamil dan Zul setiap untuk menjimatkan wang tapi kini aku sudah semakin matang dan boleh berdikari. Haa haa. Klik tajuk ataupun Read More.

So who's TeleTech? How come i've never heard of it? TeleTech is a leading global business process outsourcing (BPO) company that provides a full range of front- to back-office outsourced solutions. Google it beybeh. So who's outsourcing their business process to TeleTech now? HP, the leading personal computer manufacturer in this world. Cooooooool.

Next week will be the last week of training. Minggu pertama training bahasa. We'll be supporting US customers, so kenala poyo cakap ala2 amerika kan. Jika tak lepas tak bole keja. Huii kalau dengar diri sendiri cakap omputih slang amerika memang rasa nak pukul diri sendirila mendengar kepoyoannya. Minggu kedua dan seterusnya product training. Huii penat gila. Dahla majoriti suma berbelalai. Belalai gelap lak tuh. Tade gadis pun. Well, ada, tapi tak cukup hot untuk mencuci mata. Tapi ada sorang amoi keje kat HR. Huii dressing dia morning musume pun kalah. Maka aku pun mengaplikasikanla teknik2 nguratan cina aku seperti mengucapkan "lei hou leng" (kamu sangat cantik) dan "ngo hou leng chai" (saya sangat kacak). Namun begitu tak pernah sekalipun dia melayan aku. Tak dengaq kot (ego). Ohh jika nak ngurat mapley di ameerali ataupun kj maju, sila gunakan "ni rombe alega iruke". Peace.

Anyway berbalik kepada kerja. Di Idwal aku menjadi multimedia designer. Di sini nama saintifik aku ialah Technical Support Associate. Kerjasama TeleTech dengan HP masih segar maka masih ada peluang pekerjaan dan peluang untuk maju agak cerah. Itu kata2 manis trainer aku la. Jadi jangan korang tunggu lama2 sila layari www.teletech.com bole kita menjadi rakan sekerja. Kat sini kool gila xbox 360 1 wireless controller hd 20 gig. Eh silap xbox tu kat rumah aku sebab aku baru beli saje je nak riak ni. Interview dia memang sukar ada grammar test, basic computer knowledge, technical test, communication test, last skali baru interview dengan manusia. testis sungguh. Tapi jika korang nak soalan bocoq harga kita bole berbincang.

Dahla penatla aku nak menaip. 360 aku tuh sudah 2 jam tak berusik nanti dia merajuk pulak. Ok jumpa lagi dalam segmen riak akan akan datang. I lap u all. Ohh internetku sudah kembali pulih. Yeah baby.

Iklan: Buy HP products. For your support needs you can visit hp.com/support. Have a nice day.

Selamat Hari Raya!!! (ok sori terlambat sebulan dua)

Ok ini pornografi2 raya yang dijanjikan.


Btw pc kool aku dah pulih tp seterimik pulak yang eshol.

Berhari raya di rumah eleanor ezura.


Tengah tuning stesen radio di rumah ezu. Lain punya hangat beb

Berhari raya di rumah nazry ada milf. huiiii naik syahwat azrel dan hanis


Di mana Aqilah Hasan? Or Adliza Husan? Huhhh


Tamir mengantuk menolong aku membakar lemang

best friends forever beybeh

cis walaupun dia tidak hadir ke rumahku, namun aku tidak menyimpan dendam kerana rumahnya ada laksa kambing.

Aku memang sering menjadi idaman dan igauan gadis2.

Ok jumpa lagi di hari raya tahun depan. Semoga tak pakai baju tahun2 lepas. Peace

Saturday, October 27, 2007

PCKU DISAMBAQ KILATTT (menjerit ni)

Maka blog ini akan berehat selama tiga minggu sementara encik lowyat merepair pc aku yg kool itu. Maka tugas korang ialah mendonlod cite2 yg aku ingin tonton seperti Wira2, Melepaskan Diri dari Penjara, Anatomi Grey, Pejabat Itu dan mungkin seepisod dua Pangsapuri Mike. Peace. Datangla rumah berhari raya.

Hoit nak baca ape lagi pegila surau ke rumah anak yatim ke dapat gak pahala.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Iron Curtain Falls on England??

Russia 2 England 1. Now the Euro 2008 qualification is out of our hands. Barbie.

The defeat now left the Three Lions on second place in Group E with 23 points, but the Russian has a game in hand. England hopes for qualification now hangs in the balance. We need the help from the effing Jews to hold off the march of the Russian Army. If the Russian beat the Jews, then we might as well forget about Euro 2008. The Russian would totally whip Andorra on their final match. Watching Euro without England is like puasa but mencarut; pointless and not worth it.

Err why 'we'? Dudeee. We Malaysians should all support England because our second nationality is English(haa?) . Imagine, jika kita tidak mencapai kemerdekaan, kita pasti akan menjadi orang England. So, Peter Crouch and Akmal Rizal (masa kat Kedah) up front, Stevie G's formidable partnership with Indra Putra in the central midfield, Pennant (well he SHOULD be in the England squad) and Steve McLaren is an es hol for overlooking Carra-Norhafiz Zamani partnership. Carson should be no 1 goalkeeper though as all Malaysian goalie have sissy ponytails and prone to stupid mistakes. Yes people, it's all Liverpool English players if you hadn't noticed. Sukatila aku fanatik Liverpool.

So what's wrong with the current England squad? We have the quality. We have the depth. Should we blame it on the Russian artificial pitch? Come on, the Russian weren't used to it either. Lampard's abysmal form? Well he's been dropped and Barry did well in his place. The retirement of Carra? Maybe, but we still plenty of good options. The inclusion of Rooney gemuk and left out Crouchie on starting line up? Well yeahh. Okay he scored but but he also gave away the decisive penalty. When you're playing away from home you should be more cautious, play long balls and let Crouch be the target man. He's super tall and good in the air, he can hold off the ball and wait for support. Or perhaps you can blame the referee like Macca did. Whatever. Hey I'm qualified to give my professional opinion. I deserve to sit next to John Dykes as a football pundit based on my hundreds of season playing cm/fm. I can do a better job than Steve McLaren. Whatever. Buatlah semayang hajat agar England layak ke final Euro 2008 Amin.


Monday, October 15, 2007

Hari Raya Sucks

Hari Raya menjadi buhsan sejak tahun 2000. Why? Kerana aku tiada kampung. Even if aku still ada kampung, kampung aku terletak di Bandar Baru Selayang, K.L dan Serdang .40 minit dan 15 minit perjalanan menaiki kereta, kalau naik roller blade lambat sikit. Atuk dan nenek aku telah tiada, maka tiada lagi family gathering di antara sanak saudara di bawah satu bumbung. Maka hari rayaku pada setiap tahun akan disambut seorang diri di bandar baru bangi yang tercinta. Ingin tahu rutin rayaku setiap tahun? Klik Read More ataupun tajuk.

1 Syawal (tahun ini dan tahun2 sebelumnya sama saja, bezanya pada baju raya saja)
Pagi: Bangun tido - Mandi - Pakai baju baru/tahun lepas - Semayang raya - Pegi kubuq atuk/uwan dan nenek/atuk - Pegi rumah Mak Long di seksyen 1.

Tengahari: Pergi Kg Pandan umah nenek pinjam, ngan Ampang.

Maka tamatlah 1 Syawalku.

2 Syawal
Pagi: Pergi rumah Atuk no 2 di kelang, Rumah Mak Ngah ngan rumah Pak Long di Shah Alam.

Maka tamatlah 2 Syawalku.

3 Syawal
Beraya di panggung wayang berdekatan bersama Ahmad Shuduh. Antara cerita2 yang kami lihat di Hari Raya tahun2 sebelumnya ialah filem2 bangsat seperti Gila Bola lakonan Dr. Fazley mahupun Rock arahan Mamat Khalid. Mungkin esok terpaksa menonton cerita Otai. Tiada tiket...kami terpaksa.

Begitulah rutinku setiap tahun. Untuk korang yang masih mempunyai kampung, pulanglah berhari raya dengan gembira. Nanti apabila telah tiada barulah korang terasa. Sehingga terpaksa meluahkan kegayan masing2 di blog. Tetapi tahun ini raya menjadi semakin buhsan kerana statusku tidak melayakkan diriku ini untuk mengumpul duit raya. Ehh tunggu. I am currently unemployed because I have quit my beloved Idwal Systems Sdn Bhd. (jeng jeng jeng). Yesss dengan alasan itulah aku still berjaya memperoleh rm15 setakat ini. Dengan alasan itu jugalah aku berjaya mengelakkan diri dari memberi wang kepada saudara2 terdekat berserta ibu bapa mereka. Namun begitu aku telah menjanjikan mesin menjahit dan set memancing baru untuk Pak Long dan Mak Long di Shah Alam serta rantai emas dan baju golf untuk Pak Long dan Mak Long di Bangi sebagai habuan raya tahun hadapan. Cis kerana mulut badan binasa. Takpe next year diorang lupala tu haa haa. Hmm oklah Selamat Hari Raya kawan2, maaf zahir saje. I lap u all. U all lap me x?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Top Ten Raya Songs

Yayyy yayyy dah nak raya. Tetapi raya ini takkan bermakna tanpa dendangan lagu2 raya klasik dan moden. Sehingga kini, terdapat 288 buah lagu raya yang telah dicipta sejak zaman Jahiliyyah hinggalah zaman globalisasi ini. So here's my Top Ten Raya songs of all time. Tett tenettet tet tenenet tenenet (2x). Click the title or Read More.

1. Musafir di Aidilfitri - S. Jibeng
This is probably the syahduest raya song ever made. Gemaaaaaaa damnn meremang bulu ketiak tatkala mendengar verse pertama lagu itu. The cover by ruhil amani was okay but nothing beats the original.

2. Satu Hari di Hari Raya - M. Nasir
I'm sure this song will be in everyone's top ten. Dengarla patblas kali berturut2 pun pasti tidak bosan.

3. Raya - Jalil Hamid
"Bila sebut pasal raya semua ingat hari raya tapi janganlah pula kita lupaaa. Ada 1001 kata berkait dengan raya selain hari rayaaaa....." Haa haa a different take on Hari Raya. Bukan setakat hari raya, jalan raya, kaya raya, puduraya, bunga raya, hantu raya suma ada.

4. Seloka Hari Raya - Uji Rashid dan Hail Amir
Tiada pasangan di dunia ini yang dapat mengatasi chemistry antara mereka tak kirala diorang tu nurul dan ajai dulu2 ke, yusry dan erra dulu2 ke apatah lagi achik spin dan siti nordiana.

5. Malam Kita - KRU
Haa haa ini kira lagu raya ke? aku pun tak tahu. Yela lirik dia begini, "Ohh sepurnama kita tempuh dugaan penuh kesabaran, kini tiba sekali lagi hari yang dinanti tiba pasti...". Tak kira aku fanatik KRU sejak sekolah rendah lagi.

6. Cahaya Aidilfitri - Black Dog Bone
Nama band sudah menakutkan tapi lagu rayanya menjadi instant classic ketika mula2 direlease 14 tahun dahulu (fakta tak benar, men blasah je ni).

7. Lebaran Ini - Raihan, Nowseeheart, Rem & Ajai
Suara Rem meneran sungguh real tatkala rakaman di studio majalah mangga mengatakan Rem tercirit sedikit sehingga mengalir ke lutut.

8. Bergema Takbir di Pagi Raya - 4u2c
Masa ni 4u2c gaduh ngan KRU biasalah tak matang lagi.

9. Menjelang Hari Raya - Dj Dave
Dj Dave sungguh kacak bergaya dulu dan sekarang menjadi kegilaan ibu bapa kita di zaman2 remaja dulu.

10. Aidilfitri - Sanisah Huri
Tak kenal? aku pun tak kenal. Tapi lagu dia camni, "Kini tibaa masanya berharii rayaa muslimin dan muslimat sembahyang bersamaaaaa..."

Yaa sekian saja Carta Raya tahun ini. Jangan diam saja habaq mai la korang punya lagu feveret lak. Ok Selamat makan lemang untuk anda sekeluarga. Peace..

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Why You Should Choose Idwal Systems

Formed in 1989 from a very modest beginning, Idwal Systems Sdn Bhd progressed 'organically' to an optimum level of preparedness to provide the best service to their clients. Idwal is registered with the Finance Ministry of Malaysia as a supplier of computer systems and services, with a paid up capital of RM1,000,000. Idwal has developed an excellent technical infrastructure backed by solid financial resources and management. Their experience cover a variety of IT services to do a wide spectrum of clients in various sectors; government, commercial, cooperative, semi government and educational purposes. Cool eh? Click Read More or the title. Ohh these are taken from the company's profile.

Ok so what's so cool about this company? After you read this I bet you will send your resume and be a part of Idwal Systems.

Pengurusan:
Supercool boss. Encik Hashim (bukan encik idwal ok) tidak pernah memaki hamun pekerjanya. Dia juga sentiasa mengambil berat tentang semua pekerjanya dengan bertanyakan progress projek dari semasa ke semasa. Jika berjumpa di kedai makan di waktu tengahari, jangan segan silu untuk mengorder makanan yang mahal2 kerana dia pasti akan membelanja. Isterinya Puan Faezah pula sentiasa ceria dengan gelak tawanya yang sering menghangatkan suasana pejabat.

Latihan industri:
Jika anda seorang pelajar, jalankanlah latihan industri anda di idwal systems. Anda pasti menjadi handal dan berguna kepada masyarakat kerana anda akan terlibat dengan projek2 besar seperti membangunkan courseware Kemahiran Cepat Menguasai Membaca dan Menulis (KCM2M) mahupun sistem kompleks MAIS dan MAINS. Pengalaman Flash yang diperoleh pasti dapat membantu anda mendapat A dalam projek akademik anda di tahun akhir nanti. Dan mungkin anda akan berjumpa dengan cinta anda di tempat praktikal.

Kesejahteraan hidup di akhirat:
Setiap hari jumaat, semua pekerja diwajibkan berkumpul dan membaca surah Yaasin. Tiada kompeni di Asia Tenggara ini yang mengamalkan aktiviti ini. Adalah bohong jika korang mengaku membaca Quran di rumah terutamanya jika nama korang adalah Mohd Jamil Fathi, Amir Rashidi, Saiful Izwan, Tengku Amir Afendi, apatah lagi Ahmad Fadhullah. Di bulan Ramadan yang mulia ini pula, idwal mengadakan tadarus al Quran setiap pagi yang buat masa ini Ahmad Fadhullah hanya pernah turun membaca sekali je. Idwal Systems sebenarnya tidak begitu popular berbanding syarikat lain kerana, Idwal Systems TIDAK mengamalkan rasuah dan riba. Gaji pekerja dibayar melalui bank Islam jadi kita tidak perlu risau tentang hukum halal dan haram. Dari semasa ke semasa, bos akan memberi tazkirahnya agar kita tidak lalai dan alpa dalam meneruskan kehidupan ini.

Pemakaian:
Jika anda berada di bahagian multimedia, anda akan berasa sungguh gembira kerana anda bebas memakai apa saja, asalkan menutup aurat. Anda boleh memakai seluar jeans, memakai selipar jamban, memakai t shirt family guy mahupun berbaju melayu lengkap dengan keris dan tengkolok.

Suasana kerja:
Rakan2 sekerja di idwal semuanya sekepala. Gurauan2 yang ekstrim yang dilakukan tidak akan disalah anggap sebagai gangguan seksual. Anda boleh mendengar stesen radio yang lain punya hangat beb sesuka hati. Anda boleh bermain ping pong di masa lapang. Dan jika tiada kerja, anda boleh install counter strike dan mengadakan lan party membunuh teman sekerja anda sambil mencarut2 kegembiraan.

Kemudahan:
Walaupun idwal systems tidak sebesar syarikat2 lain, (4 tingkat, still besaq noo), idwal systems menyediakan kemudahan infrastruktur yang lengkap. Tandas di setiap tingkat, surau, studio rakaman (atau tempat tidoq hee hee), bilik bacaan, bilik mesyuarat, meja ping pong, meja makan, peti ais, pc ram 2 gig core 2 duo, dvd mr and mrs smith dan macam2 lagila.

Nikmat2 lain:
1) Besday anda akan disambut dengan pizza hut, satey, kek serta pelbagai jenis kuih muih moden dan tradisional.

2) Bekalan pisang goreng dan keropok lekor setiap petang.

3) Perkhidmatan lebih masa akan dibayar. Setiap projek akan diberikan insentif.

4) Watak2 menarik seperti Abang Mat Nor dan Nor Akmal Hisyam.

5) 5 minit perjalanan dari rumah.

Jadi, tunggu apa lagi? Hantarla resume anda segera inilah peluang anda untuk mengecapi keamanan di dunia dan akhirat. Idwal sekarang memerlukan seorang multimedia developer kerana salah seorang pekerjanya yang paling berwibawa akan pergi. Min requirement, reti guna Flash, Photoshop, bole handle pressure, tak hensem pun takpe. Untuk keterangan lanjut sila lawati www.idwal.com.my





Sunday, September 30, 2007

New and Returning Tv Shows

My mum will be pissed when she sees the electric bill this month. I haven't switch off my supercomputer for a week now. Why? It's fall tv season bitches! Monday it's time to waste your bandwitdh for Family Guy and Simpsons. Tuesday,Prison Break, Heroes. Wednesday, Semayang Terawih live from Mecca. Thursday, Grey's, Bleach. Friday, Earl, The Office, Naruto. And that's just for the returning tv shows! How about new series premiere? Ahhh click the title or Read More.

Warning, big spoiler ahead. Have u guys seen Prison Break S302? Bellick didn't really kidnapped Marie Cruz. And Sucre decides to leave Marie Cruz because he loves her so much...ohh that's not cool amigo. Bellick being a bastard as always selling info for a shirt and pants. Well that's refreshing, you don't wanna see him with his underwear every week except for Jamil because that will make him horny. Strange.

Anyway let's talk about heroes now. This season premiere didn't start with a bang, IMHO. It's four months after the final fight with Sylar. Parkman lives with Molly now. He's not a pedophile, Janice divorced him. Claire and her family living a new dull and boring life. She met a cute boy who turns out to be one of them (frying man, bak kata hiro). My man Hiro? Well he's in the past, meeting his 'hero' Takezo Kensei who's actually an Englishman, Sark from Ali@s. Haa haa. Ohh and Nathan, please shave. You look like a contestant from Pirate Master. And Peter is alive! But he got a brain damage.

Brain damage? It's Grey's turn, fags! But I haven't watch it yet. Dude Meredith's sister is hot. I hope she will be a regular this season. Dr Burke and Addison are gone. I don't care about Burke but Addison is a milf. Good thing that she went to another show with more milfs! Hee. Ohh will george stays? He's the luckiest guy in the Seattle Grace because he managed to get Meredith, Izzie and Torres in bed. haa haa.

Ohh please dl the new episode of Family Guy. They made a parody of Star Wars. Super Funny. Now like i said before, there are new tv series to be downloaded. Currently I'm downloading Private Practice, the Grey's spin-off. Bionic Woman, well that could a spin off from grey's also because I heard Dr Burke is in that show, haa haa. And Reaper whoooaa you guys should dl this show. It's about a guy, Sam whose soul has been sold to the devil by his parents. When he's 21, the devil (didn't seem evil to me) asks him to be his 'ghostbuster' to catch escaped soul from hell. (using a rechargeable vacuum as his 'weapon') This is a quite funny show. You got the girl from heroes(who got the 'Mystique' ability) playing Sam's love interest.

Alrite babe it's time to watch the new interns in Seattle Grace! Weee!


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Top Ten Tv Shows

Abang T-Bag sudah kembali. Jaga2 bontot korang. Abang Hiro akan kembali next week. YATTAAAAAA!!! Auntie Bailey menyusul dengan jeritan " YA'ALL GOTTA DO YOUR ROUNDSS". Nasib penduduk perkampungan Jericho juga bakal diketahui tidak lama lagi. Seterusnya dapatkah Abang Earl terus mengamalkan hukum karmanya? Adakah cinta suci Abg Sawyer dan Akak Kate akan dirahmati tuhan? Yaa akhirnya kehidupan kita akan kembali bermakna dengan kembalinya siri2 tv amerika yang bisa melalaikan kita yang sedia lalai. Top Ten Tv Shows. Klik tajuk ataupun Read More.


Yaaaaa penantian itu satu penyeksaan. Setelah hampir empat bulan berpisah dengan surirumah2 tua yang masih solid punggung mereka dan intern2 pembedahan yang tidak pernah lekang dengan masalah, akhirnya kita tidak perlu lagi mengikuti siri gusti TNA yang ada Kurt Angle dan Sting. Marilah kita membazirkan bandwidth ofis mendonlod cerita2 ini. So here's my top ten favorite (modern) tv shows.

1. Alias
Uuuuu uuuu uuuu ukkk uuuu uuuu wooo uuuuu uuuuu uuuuuuu uu u uuuuu. Ini ialah bunyi kesedihan aku kerana siri tv yang PALING BEST di cakerawala ini telah ditamatkan. Sydney Bristow ialah gadis idaman setiap lelaki dan sesetengah lesbian kerana mampu memenuhi fantasi seksual mereka. Setiap episod Alias dipenuhi dengan aksi2 pergaduhan yang menarik, bersama gajet2 inovatif untuk membantu Syd dan rakan2 menyelesaikan misi mereka. Terdapat juga watak2 antagonis yang menarik seperti Anna Espinosa (Syd's arch enemy), Irina Derevko dan feveret saya Julian Sark.

2. Heroes
Siri televisyen heroes berjaya menambat hati saya sejak episod pertama lagi. Mula2 saya menyangka ini ialah klon x-men ataupun siri bangang mutant-x. Well, adala sikit2 namun begitu teknik penceritaannya dan cara hero2 dan heroin bermain dengan emosi penonton disertai dengan efek2 visual yang memukau membuatkan saya terus ketagih. Jika saya seorang Hero, saya ingin menjadi Matt Parkman (tak acila jadi Peter/Sylar). Boleh membaca hati orang di surau nak tengok diorang khusyuk ke tak ataupun asyik berfikir macam aku "bilaaaalaaaa nak abesss dia baca ni" (surau aku buat doploh xleh salahkan aku).

3. Lost
Lost sudah masuk season 4. Di season 4 flashback kini akan diselang selikan dengan flash forward setelah diorang keluar dari pulau pinang. Masih banyak lagi persoalan yang masih belum terjawab. Apakah entiti ghaib dan asap hitam yang selalu mengganggu penduduk lost itu? adakah akibat global warming mahupun gangguan iblis? Siapakah sebenarnya Walt? Adakah cinta Kate terhadap Sawyer benar2 suci ataupun sekadar cemburu dengan Jack? Teka teki sebeginilah yang membuatkan saya marah di samping tertunggu2 episod seterusnya. Tetapi season ini kita tidak dapat lagi mendengar lagu You allll everybodyyy dendangan Drive Shaft di atas kematian wira kita Abang Charlie...uuu uuu uuuu

4. Prison Break
Season 1, superb. Season2, bole tahan. Season 3 bagaimana? Episod pertama keluar minggu lepas. Persoalan mengapa encik scofield dihumban ke dalam sona telah terjawab kerana pihak syarikat (Company, haa haa) ingin beliau membebaskan seorang tahanan misteri di dalam sona. Ohh mengapa bellick dijadikan macai di dalam penjara? sungguh kasihanku melihatnya. Ohh buat korang yang tak tengok lagi padan muka terbaca spoiler haa haa. Watak kegemaranku dalam siri ini ialah abang T-Bag.

5. Family Guy / South Park / The Simpsons / American Dad
Lawak bodoh. Toilet humor. Fart Jokes. Celebrity bashing. Pop culture reference. Ohh aku gemar.

6. Grey's Anatomy
Yes ladies, I watch Grey's. I know mekdrimi mekstimi. Sungguh gay. Tapi jangan nak berbohong korang jantan2 dayus yang lain pun tengok jugak. Siapa tidak suka soap opera telenovela tentang percintaan, karier, adultery, kecurangan, seribu penyesalan...hilanggg.

7. Jericho
Cerita ini sungguh bosan di awal musim. Namun sedikit demi sedikit, kesengsaraan penduduk bandar Jericho mengharungi kehidupan di zaman post apokalips berjaya menambat hatiku untuk terus menonton.

8. My Name Is Earl
Brilliant(mulala tu malas nak menaip).

9. Arrested Development
Lucu. Tapi dah tamat. The Bluths...the most dysfunctional family in tv...well after the griffins and the simpsons of kos. Watak kegemaran aku ialah Gob dengan fuiiyoo magiknya yang sering tak jadi, joget ayamnya yang pasti membuatku tak kering gusi hee hee hee. One of the funniest scene was when all the bluths did the chicken dance...but gob was too late to join. haa haa.

10. Mis Tres Hermanas.
Drama percintaan remaja zaman2 kita. Lisa purfauro es to morientes fernando torres.

Sekian. Selamat bersahur. Habaq mai la kat ceq ang punya cita lak.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Ramadan Activities!

Ramadan is back. This is the time when the gastric starts coming, the migraine attacks frequently or the sudden reappearance of last year's barah otak(taktik malas puasa). You cannot watch Mike's Apartment during the day, say "bitch" to Ahmad Fadhullah or even listen to britney's new single gimme gimme gimme gimme moooreeee because it will reduce your pahala puasa. So what can you do during ramadan? Don't worry my friends. Click Read More.

So, what can you do on this long boring sunday of ramadan? Firstly you could do what we all should do, beramal. Kamon guys kalau ditimbang amalan korang (dan aku) sekarang memang menempah tiket gold class ke neraka la. Dahla malas pegi terawih at least semayang lima waktu jgnla tinggal. Kalau nak lagi bagus anta resume kat Idwal Systems bulan ramadan ada buat tadarus. Alhamdulillah (this is what you should expect from bekas ketua surau uniten).

But hey, knowing that my friends are all lazybum like me, i have another activity that will never compromise your pahala puasa (bergurau takpe)....teka teki! Yay. Maka di sini aku selitkan koleksi teka-teki super aku yang bole korang tanya kat adik beradik mahupun nenek korang sementara menanti waktu berbuka puasa. Peace.

1. Dalam banyak2 burung, burung apakah yang paling baik?
Burung belatuk, sebab dia bela atuk dia haa haa kelakarnya aku

2. Dalam banyak2 syiling, syiling apakah yang gelap?
50 cent haa haa kelakarnya aku

3. Dalam banyak2 ayam, ayam apakah yang berwarna hijau?
Bayam, haa haa kelakarnya aku

4. Macamane nak bezakan ikan betina ngan ikan jantan? (teka teki arel)
ikan betina ikan duyung, ikan jantan ikan Bakar haa haa kelakarnya arel

5. Dalam banyak2 kari, kari apakah yang tak bole dimakan?
Encik Hamzah bin Mohd Kari haa haa kelakarnya aku

ok kita jumpa lagi dalam segmen teka teki akan datang. aku sakit perut la

Friday, September 14, 2007

Mengapa Aku Pakai Spek

Sehingga hari ini, berdasarkan bancian yang telah dilakukan, 40% undian mengatakan wajah saya bughuk nok mapuh memakai spek. Namun begitu, majoriti masyarakat setempat amat mengagumi wajah baru ini dan sering menghantar emel dan faks menanyakan apakah rahsia memiliki wajah seperti Anuar Zain. Tanya saja Eleanor Ezura, Aqilah Hasan apatah lagi Nurdatillah Hasim. Ingin tahu lebih lanjut? Click Read More.

Walaupun sebahagian besar undian yang positif aku yang undi sendiri, namun masyarakat setempat terutamanya gadis2 jelita tetap mengagumi wajah baru ini. Kamon bukannya aku nak pakai pun spek tetapi keadaan yang memaksa. Kisahnya bermula sejak 6 tahun dahulu, ketika aku form 5. Malam tu aku membaham nasi paprik. Tangan aku basuh tak pakai sabun agaknya. Pastu aku pun menggosokla mataku. Tiba-tiba...auummm auuuuuuu aku menyalak seperti serigala jadian. Sungguh pedih mataku masuk sambal. Kepedasannya yang lebih hangat daripada biasa membuatkan mata kananku menjadi kabur. Pastu esok aku pegila klinik sebab kehangatannya masih terasa. Doktor test mata mmg kanan x nampak ah. Pastu dia kata ini temporary dan aku ni memang rabun sebenarnya. Suck my balls ah doktor. Kemudian aku pun meneruskan kehidupan seperti biasa. Mata aku ok je lepas tu cuma kabur jela belah kanan tp aku blasah je gagah la katakan.


6 tahun kemudian, aku mula pening2. Mungkin tekanan kerja. Mungkin aku kelaparan. Mungkin akibat aku sudah boroi. 'Mungkin' lagu Anuar Zain. 'Mungkin Nanti' lagu Peterpan. 'Maybe' lagu Emma Bunton. Haa? Seperti biasa aku gagahkan diri juga. Tapi setelah pening2 ini berterusan selama 2 minggu aku pun mula risau. Aku pun google la 'pening-pening berterusan' banggg kluar barah otak pulak. Ahhhh. Esok terus pegi klinik. Doktor tanya aku rabun ke mama di blakang terus menjawab soalan itu dengan panjang lebar. Dia kata selama ini bata kiri aku yg balancekan kekaburan mata kananku. Setelah tamat bebelannya (mama dan doktor) aku pun terus dibawa ke kedai spek di bintang (formerly known as warta). Cek2 sbelah kiri 25 sbelah kanan 275 haa haa. Maka hari ini genaplah 2 minggu aku memakai kacamata. Peace.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Graduation Day! (UPDATED)

Lihatlah gambar2 graduasiku yang bergaya. Ada banyak kamera, so this will be updated frequently. Peace. Click Read More.
Ok ini kamera bc@ amirah alia binti ramli.




Masing2 cuba melakonkan wajah ayu terutamanya Ahmad Shuhud. Jamil menahan nafas aga perutnya yang bersaiz 34" tidak kelihatan. Bunga itu dibeli setelah aku mengugut hendak menghentak2 kaki di khalayak ramai.


ahh ikram dengan minyak wangi mawinya membuatku ghairah



Masing2 bergaya dengan spek mata pinjam.


Ohh Huda walaupun ini lakonan semula dengan bunga pinjam namun I tetap terharu.

Sungguh musykil teknik bergambar ikram ini.



Tengku Eleanor Ezura Binti Tengku Nasrudin


Bersama Ding Ngok Fung jangan jeles. Ngo hou leng chai

alieezuijailala

Nafsu mereka yang buas memaksa aku belanja di resipi rahsia. Terima kasih diucapkan buat jamil dan ikram yang membantu menghulurkan wang jika tidak aku pasti membasuh pinggan seorang diri.


Friday, August 31, 2007

Top Ten Favourite Lecturers

Tomorrow is my graduation day! Yayy! 4 supercool years in Uniten...mungkin lebih lama tanpa kehadiran pensyarah2 kesayanganku yang kacak dan jelita (masih membodek) . In the eyes of these lecturers, I was PROBABLY a naughty student who always have problem with attitude, always make silly jokes and kacak(tambah sendiri) . But hey, they never complain, and they still love me with all their hearts (perasan), and guiding me with life changing advises.... I guess I'll never know the sense of satisfaction that lecturers gained from the course of teaching. So here's my tribute to ten of the coolest lecturers ever. Ohh the ranks don't count here. Click Read More!.


1. Pn. Eze Manzura

I think Pn Eze is the most 'penyabaq' person in this whole wide world, seriously. We met her for the first time in the IP lab. There she was, with that sweet smiles on her face, never once raised her voice or even had a frown on her face. Aku tak tahula bagaimana dia boleh bersabar dengan group "bangang dan bising" di belakang yang line upnya adalah aku, khairul afandy, izwan anwar, mohd azrel dan hanis. We didn't understand anything, not because of her teaching methods, but because we were just lazy and stupid. And setiap kali lab asyik berpura2 menaip coding, pura2 tanya org, and last2 cucuk tamdraiv mencurik source. Damn. Perkara ini berterusan sehingga lab Simulation.

Did i mention she was super cool? Pernah sekali masuk lab, saya menjerit "OK kelass kenselll" tanpa menyedari Pn Eze sedang pasang projektor. Pap tiba2 dia muncul betapa malunya diriku ini. Tp Pn Eze tak marah, sekadar 'mendenda' aku memasang projektor (tapi gagal sebab saya tak tahu haa haa). Ini tak masuk insiden saya TERgelakkannya kerana tersilap pegang hp mustapa balbed instead of the mouse (so sorry!). Man she even replied to my 'letter' in front of the class saying i was 'Bole tahanla' (the letter asked whether 'Mohamad Faizal ni kacak tak?'). Ohh Pn Eze I'm so sorry for everything.

2. Mr Tj Iskandar

Just ask any multimedia student who's their favourite lecturer. Most of them will say Mr Tj. I never knew him until my final year, where he was my lecturer for MSD. Mr Tj adalah seorang yang kool, he can relate to us easily. He knows Abarai Renji. He's a Siti Nurhaliza fanatic. Just go into his room and you can many of Siti's memorabilia. He cares for his student, but not in a way that make the student feels the pressure. Fuhh.

3. Pn. Noor Fardela

My lecturer since foundation. Haa haa miss Dela is GARANG, but garang in a good way. She can accept my stupid jokes. Altough mula2 dia macam nak memberi pelangkung, last2 dia mesti gelak gak. Haa haa. She was my project supervisor. She finally gave me an A for my final project after much persuasion, bodekan, memuji kekacakan husbandnya yang sering bermain nintendo DS and janji manis nak belanja (i will, soon hee hee). Miss Dela rasanya sekarang sedang berpantang. Tahniah dapat anak lagi nanti bagila nama Faizal dah besa mesti kacak.

4. Miss Siti Salwa

Miss Siti Salwa berwajah garang naturally, but guess what, she is exactly the opposite. Full of laugh, can handle my stupid jokes and meminati moto besar. Banyak membuat kami lebih rajin belajar dan lebih aktif berowing kerana menjanjikan markah jika menyertainya.

5. Bahram Abedi

Aku tabik, dia pasti membalas. Di dalam lif dia kadang2 akan menggeletek anda secara rambang (lelaki saje). Dan rambutnya tu ohhh Bahram kau memang kool.

6. Pn. Rozita Ismail

Pn. Rozita gemar menyebut nama pelajar2nya. Trust me, she remembers everyone's name. Tapi mula2 dia tak pernah sebut nama aku pun. Maka saya tak perlu risau disoal dalam kelas. Tetapi biasalah Mohamad Faizal kan suka mencari perhatian. Saya pergi ke biliknya dan berkata "Hai miss nama saya faizal esok panggilla nama saya pulak" (dgn niat bergurau). Hmm tindakan yang silap kerana esoknya serta merta saya disoal and dia siap buat announcement lagi " haii kan smalam kamu suruh saya panggil nama kamu..."

7. Pn Marini Othman

My Ethical, Legal and Professional Issues lecturer. She's another one cool lecturer. On our first class, she called out everyones name. Biasala saya mesti mencari perhatian dengan mengangkat kedua2 belah tangan serentak. It was the world cup season, and i was wearing my England shirt. Then she said.."ohh you England boy couldn't make it past the quarterfinals...". And she always call me by my dad's name Rosly (that's because after my name memang Rosli pun(alie). Then she called me Sally because haa haa u guys know why.

8. Pn. Nazrita

Mengajar kami membuat animasi. Lihatlah animasi penguin kami yang kool di youtube. Pn Nazrita sungguh baik hati. Kelas pun abes super awal ohh bahagianya hidup ini.

9. Dr Madan Lal Garg

If you have any daud please ask.

10. Uwe Heinz Rudi Dippel

Seriously?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Boroi IS The Way of Life

Graduation day is coming. Everyone is wearing lounge suit but I'm wearing baju Melayu. Of course. Mohamad Faizal always stands out in the crowd. Imagine, when the Pengetua Uniten announce "...and the Best Dressed Graduate award goes to..Mohamad Faizal.." As expected, I will be the winner coz I'm the only hero Melayu in the hall like the legendary Eman Manan. But is that the real reason why I'm going to wear baju Melayu? The truth is, I don't have any slack to wear with the suit because I am now officially B.O.R.O.I. Click Read More for this shocking news.


Yes people, after so much denial, campaign, and protest, I finally admit, I am boroi. My perut is now 34". Damn you Appeton weight gain only menambahkan ukurlilit perut otot2 di lengan tak mahu tambah lak. Tetapi kajian sekarang mengatakan Keboroian Adalah Gaya Hidup Masakini (www.fashiontoday.com/macho). So aku sekadar tak mahu dikatakan ketinggalan zaman, kolot tak ikut fesyen semasa (penipuan paling besar di abad ini). Mengapakah fenomena ini boleh berlaku? Saya sepatutnya boleh membaham apa saja tanpa menambah berat badan kerana mempunyai kadar metabolisma yang tinggi. Mungkin ini adalah balasan tuhan terhadap kelancangan mulutku mengutuk rakan2ku yg boroi walaupun mereka tidak minum minuman keras. But wait, am I gonna make fun of myself only during this rant? Of course not. Sorry my dear friends, let's share our boroiness together. Ohh this is just for fun btw.

Top 5 rakan2 Bangi yang boroi:
1) Adam bin Johari (35")
Keboroiannya dikesan melebihi aku setelah mengukur perut untuk seluar pernikahannya tahun depan. Skang 35" tahun depan mesti dekat 40" nak jadi inkeridibel hak ape koyak ah suar kawen kau dam. Tp adam kate takpe suar tu ada getah.

2) Mohd Jamil Fathi bin Jamaludin (34 1/2 ")
Rakanku yang keboroiannya meningkat secara perlahan tetapi konsisten. Gaya hidupnya di amerika yg makan-winning 11-tido-repeat adalah antara faktor penggalaknya yang utama. Setelah pulang buat selamanya ke tanah air, beliau masih mengekalkan gaya hidup yang sama tuka sikit je makan-sabul-tido-repeat. haa haa

3) Mohd Dazrul Syariz bin Sabardin/Anas Mohd Mustafah (bakal 34++")
Anas akan bertunang tengahari ini. Tahniah anas. Orang yang bahagia pasti akan meningkat keboroiannya serta merta. Begitu juga dengan Dazu yang kini sudah berteman wanita. Blah la lu Dazu tanak balik semakin boroi la lu nanti.

4) Mohamad Faizal (kurang 34")
Haa haa akula tu.

5) Mohd Ikram Rahim (dada 33", perut 31")
bastard ikram jauh lebih gagah dari aku dada dia aku syaki dia mengambil bahan kimia merbahaya (alfitnatuasyyadduminalqod)

Rakan2 Uniten Yang Boroi (Jgn ingat korang boleh terlepas)
1) Kanak2 Kenaria
Khairul Afandy (36"), Abu Zar (48"), Farhan (35"), Mohd Rosli (35 1/2")

2) Kanak2 Surada
Saiful Izwan Ibrahim (39"), Tengku Amir Afendi (38 1/4") Ahmad Fadhullah (51")

3) Kanak2 Seksyen 8
Zahrul Izwan (35"), Jaclyn Pirlus (34")

Menakutkan bukan? See you guys later.


Monday, August 6, 2007

Top Ten Celebrity Crushes

Top Ten; The place where you can find the things i like and the things i hate....totally gay, but hella fun!

Let's start with my Top Ten Celebrity Crushes! Don't be shy just post your gay thoughts and sexual fantasies here. (click Read More)

1. Jennifer Garner



I fell in love with this superduperhot babe since the first time I saw her in Alias (wait for my Top Ten favorite tv shows). Sydney Bristow, or 'Syd' has everything from the killer 'muncung', dazzling smiles, spankin hot body and a barrage of kung fu moves. That 'moment' came in an episode (season 2, 'Phase One') where Syd was wearing a black bra and panties and thigh-high black fishnet hose trying to seduce that asshole, before he said, "No, put on the red one". Arghh what's wrong with the black???. She knocked him out after that, of course.
Now she has a daughter with Ben, but still maintain that hot body dan jelita face. So that's why she ranked no 1 in my this top ten list.


2. Sharon Stone (mase mude)
Haa haa she's 48 now but still bisa mencairkan hati jejaka2 lemah sepertiku. It was like 10 years ago when 'Basic Instinct' was played in TV2. Mama abah menonton di bawah aku tengok kat tv atas nasib baik tak tengok bersama2. Who can forget the famous interrogation scene where she didn't wear panties and made that guy from 3rd rock from the sun sweating like hell. Tapi tengok kat tv2 mestila banyak potong kan haa haa hanya setelah beberapa tahun kemudian barulah membeli vcd dia. Hoi sape curik vcd tu pulangkan la woi aku nak tengok balik.

3. Michelle Reis (Lee Kar-yan)

Haa haa you guys should watch her in Healing Hearts! Sedih doo mengalir air mata dan hidung aku. She's simply drop dead gorgeous. I also love her in Fong Sai Yuk and Royal Tramp (with Stephen Chow, yay!). And I think she did acted in one of those Young and Dangerous films..can't remember which one. Her last movie was in 2003...sibuk dengan Loreal agaknya.



4. Faye Wong

She's the best female singer in this whole wide world! Her voice is very unique and mesmerizing, although you could notice the influences from Dolores O'Riordan or Sinead O'Connor. It chills you to the bone everytime she unleash her vocal solo. I never knew her until the later stage of FF8 and "Eyes on Me" was played. Ok she's not that pretty, bole tahanla Cina mata sepet sket idung penyek sket above average la. Lepas tu terus pegi Metro Kajang beli kaset dia 'Faye HK Scenic Tour" tros menjadi Fayenatic! Saya juga memiliki album Fable ngan yang ada lagu 'Di-Dar' (tatau kaver dia tulis apa). Walaupun tak faham sepatah hapa cong ceng cong ceng hamsaplo namun sekadar mendengar suaranya berjaya membuatku jatuh cinta.

5. Nanu Baharudin

milf. enuff said.

6. Geri Halliwell

Laugh all you want. She was hot back then. We all love the Spice Girls. And now they're back. Yay.

7. Annie Mack

Who the hell is Annie Mack? I dunno if you guys remember that tv show "The Secret World of Alex Mack", about a girl who was drenched in toxic waste and suddenly became supergadis. Annie Mack is her older sister, played by Meredith Bishop. Haa haa I can't remember why i liked her so much.

8. Rachel McAdams / Diane Kruger

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

9. Natalie Portman

Original version, not the bomoh bersolek in Star Wars.

10. Maria Ozawa
Tidak perlu penjelasan
So that's my list. Tell me yours.




Sunday, August 5, 2007

Please Don't Read

Blogging is gay.
...but minum arak is haram and berdosa so please keep on reading this blog so that we will be safe from the wrath of Mungkar and Nangkir, Insyaallah. Feel free to leave your comments, feedback, love letters and money. Peace
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...