Sunday, May 18, 2008

Academy Awards...in Football

So the Barclays Premier League has just ended with Manchester United as champions, again. Well congratulations you bloody wankers. Good luck for next week. Maybe you guys really deserve the Champions League based on the current form. But if it's up to me, I don't want both Chelsea and Man U win the game, as I hope that their plane will crash on an Island (and survive) where there will meet the Oceanic Flight 815 survivors. Then Cristiano's leg will be eaten by the polar bear, Rio will be shot in the leg by the Others and Wayne will receive some sexual harassment from Ben. Or maybe I'm just a big fan of Lost. Ok back to the Award show, here are the winners from the Academy Awards...in Football. Note: Edited from The Sun, 16th May. Click Read More to see the list of winners.


Best Signing: Fernando Torres
No, not because I'm a die hard jihad Liverpool fan. 33 goals in all competitions on his first season with Liverpool, 24 of the in the premier league, breaking Van Nistelboroi record of the most prolific foreign goal scorer ever in a debut season. £20m worth spending.

Best Value Signing: Roque Santa Cruz
£3.5m = 23 goals

Worst Signing:
1) Rolando Bianchi
2) Claudio Pizarro
3) Alan Smith haa haa haa

Best MU Signing: Referee Steve Bennett

Naughty Boy Award: Ashley Cole
Turn his back on Mike Riley and his wife.

Calamity James Award: Paul Robinson
...and he lost his England place to...James

Marathon Man:
1) Carlos Tevez
2) Dirk Kuyt
- tidak pernah berhenti berlari

Worst Team of the Century: Derby County

Lee Bowyer-Kieron Dyer Teammate Award: Nicklas Bendtner and Emmanuel Adebayor.

WAG of the Year: Abbey Clancey
Made Peter Crouch say: "If I hadn't been a footballer, I'd probably be a virgin"

Crock of The Year: Louis Saha
Can only be matched by Darren Anderton.

Unlikely Martyr Award: Sven Goran Erikkson.

Ronaldinho Disappearance Award:
1) Elano
2) Alan Smith

Worst/Best Game of The Season: Boro 8 Man City 1

Accountant of the Year: Eric Djemba-Djemba
He owns 10 4x4s, use 30 bank accounts and owe money to Villa's club shop. Now he's in Qatar earning 15k a month. Yes, a month.

Ok see you next year!



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