Saturday, May 31, 2008

Season Finale

Kebanyakan siri televisyen kegemaran aku telah menamatkan siaran mereka untuk musim ini. Cis bagaimana aku ingin melepaskan penat lelah setelah pulang ke kerja jika aku tidak dapat menonton Earl cuba melenyapkan dosa2 zaman silamnya, lawak jenaka abang Micheal Scott, misteri nusantara penumpang2 Oceanic 815 dan gossip serta skandal seks di Hospital Seattle Grace? Hmm, takpe. Sila klik Read More untuk review siri2 televisyen ini.


Haa haa tipu saja. Aku nak memberi spoiler sebenarnya kepada mereka yang masih belum menonton season finale siri2 berikut:

The Office:

Jim sudah bersedia untuk melamar Pam, tetapi Andy pulak memotong moodnya dengan melamar Angela. Maka tak jadila Jim melamar Pam yang jelas kelihatan kecewa. Di penghujung rancangam, Phyllis ternampak Angela sedang bersetubuh dengan Dwight! Yesshhhh.

Supernatural:

Dean masuk neraka.

Grey's Anatomy:

Chief cium bini dia, Alex cium Izzy, George cium Lexi, Torres cium Hunt yeahhhh you like that bitch, and as expected, Derek cium Meredith.

Lost:

A killer season finale. It will answer most of the questions like, why only six of them got off the island, why they lied about it, who is inside the coffin (during the flash forward), how/why did Ben got off the island, will Desmond be reunited with his love, and many more.

Ohh since this is a post with spoilers, let me at least answer one question for you. Who's in the coffin? John Locke. Jeng jeng jenggggggg

Assalamualaikum.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Grand Theft Auto IV

Game of the year? Probably. Well at least it will be until the release of Fallout 3. You play as Niko Bellic, an illegal immigrant arriving in Liberty City to live the 'American Dream' as promised by his fat cousin, Roman Bellic. He's compelled to start working for one of the watak jahat shortly after arriving, when he learns that his cousin has some potentially fatal gambling debts. Niko, imho, is the coolest main character in the GTA series (more badass than CJ, cooler that Tommy). With his sexy accent, everyone in the game loves him. There are a lot of interesting characters in this game. Brucie, the steroid-pumping-car-fanatic-bastard, Packie and his Irish families, Ben the Fag, the Mafia bosses and lots of girlfriends (and boyfriends) that you can date. Ready to kill innocent people? Click Read More for the reviews.




Other than usual roaming in the city killing people and stealing cars, the story missions are interesting. The best mission that I've played so far is the bank heist. You and your best friend Packie will rob a bank, fire your way through the endless wave of the S.N.O.O.Z.E (the S.W.A.T team), and if you survive, $250,000 will be yours. Cooool. Of course, if you have played GTA before, the mission look somewhat familiar. Whack some Albanian gangster, steal the rare car, escort some politician, kidnap the mafia's daughter, chase down some American bikers and even a job interview. The side mission like Ambulance, Taxi and Ice Cream truck have been removed. altough you can still do the Vigilante mission by stealing police cars. Each time you commit a crime, a star or a wanted level will appear. I've once reached 6 stars but where's the Rhino tank? Hmm. The army has been replaced by the FIB (thats not a typo).

Weapons. Well there's nothing new about the weapons. But it seems they have removed the katana, firethrower and the chaingun. New abilities in Niko's arsenal include scaling fences and walls anywhere he can get a foothold, shimmying along ledges, and, most importantly, taking cover behind objects. The targeting system has been modified. You can use your right analog stick to perform your head shot with your AK-47.

Vehicles. As I mentioned before, they have removed the Rhino tank. No more carnage and rampage in the city, i guess. Bike, plane, and the Apache are missing too. This time around, when stealing cars, there are variations of animation; if the car was locked, Niko will smash the window and need to hotwire it first. Some parked cars are protected with alarms, so there you go, an instant wanted level. And if you guys perasan, after we manage to steal the rare supercars like the comet or super gt, those cars will keep on spawning while we were driving it.

Friends/Girlfriends. GTA IV introduced the use of cellphone and internet. They got their own internet with social networking site for you to look for dates. Keeping friends and dates happy means spending time with them and doing things that they enjoy, and all of them have different personalities. Some friends like to join you for minigames such as bowling, pool, or darts, makan bege, get drunk, or go to strip club. Note: try your luck after your third date with the girls, who knows if they like you enough they will invite you to their apartment hee hee hee. Of course if you cannot wait, you can always look for a prostitute (sexy outfits, just drive your car near those bitches to get the spanking)So what's the point spending your hard earned money to your friends/girlfriends? Well Jakob the rasta will sell you discounted firearms if he like you enough, Roman your cousin can provide you free cab ride, Dwayne will send you two thugs to help you out and Kate will satisfy your needs.

Well penatnya aku nak menaip. Main jela game ini pasti takkan berhenti. Apa? Korang takde Xbox 360 yang kool macam aku? Haa haa padan muka korang. Assalamualaikum.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Academy Awards...in Football

So the Barclays Premier League has just ended with Manchester United as champions, again. Well congratulations you bloody wankers. Good luck for next week. Maybe you guys really deserve the Champions League based on the current form. But if it's up to me, I don't want both Chelsea and Man U win the game, as I hope that their plane will crash on an Island (and survive) where there will meet the Oceanic Flight 815 survivors. Then Cristiano's leg will be eaten by the polar bear, Rio will be shot in the leg by the Others and Wayne will receive some sexual harassment from Ben. Or maybe I'm just a big fan of Lost. Ok back to the Award show, here are the winners from the Academy Awards...in Football. Note: Edited from The Sun, 16th May. Click Read More to see the list of winners.


Best Signing: Fernando Torres
No, not because I'm a die hard jihad Liverpool fan. 33 goals in all competitions on his first season with Liverpool, 24 of the in the premier league, breaking Van Nistelboroi record of the most prolific foreign goal scorer ever in a debut season. £20m worth spending.

Best Value Signing: Roque Santa Cruz
£3.5m = 23 goals

Worst Signing:
1) Rolando Bianchi
2) Claudio Pizarro
3) Alan Smith haa haa haa

Best MU Signing: Referee Steve Bennett

Naughty Boy Award: Ashley Cole
Turn his back on Mike Riley and his wife.

Calamity James Award: Paul Robinson
...and he lost his England place to...James

Marathon Man:
1) Carlos Tevez
2) Dirk Kuyt
- tidak pernah berhenti berlari

Worst Team of the Century: Derby County

Lee Bowyer-Kieron Dyer Teammate Award: Nicklas Bendtner and Emmanuel Adebayor.

WAG of the Year: Abbey Clancey
Made Peter Crouch say: "If I hadn't been a footballer, I'd probably be a virgin"

Crock of The Year: Louis Saha
Can only be matched by Darren Anderton.

Unlikely Martyr Award: Sven Goran Erikkson.

Ronaldinho Disappearance Award:
1) Elano
2) Alan Smith

Worst/Best Game of The Season: Boro 8 Man City 1

Accountant of the Year: Eric Djemba-Djemba
He owns 10 4x4s, use 30 bank accounts and owe money to Villa's club shop. Now he's in Qatar earning 15k a month. Yes, a month.

Ok see you next year!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

April Movies!

Yaaa Tora datang lagi dengan ketam ronggeng. Di bulan April aku hanya menonton enam filem terbaru (tiada pornografi). Tiada cerita yang betul2 menendang punggung (kickass) pada bulan ini. Namun aku tetap akan menyajikan korang dengan review2 yang menjana minda yang bebas daripada spoiler dan sport rim. Click Read More for the reviews.

Ratings:
$$$$$ : wajib ditonton, curi wang daripada ibu masing2
$$$$ : sunat ditonton, gelapkan saja wang koperasi
$$$ : harus ditonton, jika ada wang ptptn yang berlebihan
$$ : makruh ditonton, dermalah wang itu ke masjid
$ : haram ditonton , baik pergi beli Chipster lagi kenyang
.

Deadly Ghost
Ulasan Ringkas: Mengisahkan tentang seorang gadis yang mampu berkomunikasi dengan entiti ghaib. Kira macam kumpulan Sixth Sense la. Cerita ini memang sangat seram sehingga salah seorang rakanku menjerit "awwwhhh" di dalam panggung kemudian berlari meninggalkan tempat duduk ketika cerita masih berjalan. Kalau korang handal cube teke sape hee hee. Berbalik kepada cerita, oleh kerana communication skill bersama jembalang gadis itu memang mantap, maka ramaila orang yang ingin meminta bantuan gadis itu seperti meminta nombor ekor dan khidmat santau.

Ratings: $$
Spoiler: Gadis itu yang menyebabkan kematian abahnya.

Nim's Island
Ulasan Ringkas: Nim atau nama penuhnya Nirmala Samsudin tinggal di sebuah pulau peranginan terkemuka di Sabah bersama abahnya. Satu hari, abahnya pergi menjalankan kajian di laut dan dengan takdir director, berlakulah ribut yang menyebabkan kapal abahnya rosak. Nim pun meminta bantuan daripada hero kesayangannya Alex Yoong. Alex Yoong sebenarnya penulis buku yang neorotik namun dia tetap tabah untuk membantu Nim.

Ratings: $$ 1/2
Spoiler: Spartannnnsssssssssssss

Definitely Maybe
Ulasan Ringkas: This is the movie of the month. Cerita2 sebegini haruslah ditonton bersama gadis kerana pasti kita akan dianggap arbok jika berlinangan air mata menonton cerita ini bersama rakan2 berbelalai. Mengisahkan tentang Nim dari Nim's Island yang berteka teki dengan abahnya tentang kisah cinta abahnya pada masa dahulu. Abahnya sengaja menukar nama dan sedikit fakta dan membiarkan Nim meneka siapa sebenarnya ibu dia. Cerita ini sungguh sweet. Hee hee memang bapuk aku ini.

Ratings: $$$$
Spoiler: Emily mak dia. Thanks

Street Kings
Ulasan Ringkas: Filem tipikal polis. Ada polis baik dan ada polis jahat. Dalam polis jahat pasti ada seorang polis yang ingin kembali ke pangkal jalan. Dan pastilah geng2 polis jahat akan membunuh polis baik. Sekian.

Ratings: $$$ 1/2
Spoiler: Negro yang bole gerak2 dada tu baik sebenarnya negro yang bos tu yang iblis laknatullah.

Over Her Dead Body
Ulasan Ringkas: Mengisahkan tentang Gabriel Solis yang meninggal dunia semasa perkahwinannya. Entah mengapa dia tidak disiksa di dalam kubur sebaliknya mampu merewang2 di dunia. Ada perkara yang belum diselesaikan nampaknya. Maka dia pun mengganggulah hidup wanita yang cuba mengurat tunangnya.

Ratings: $$ 1/2
Spoiler: Jason Biggs purak2 gay

Forbidden Kingdom
Ulasan Ringkas: Mengisahkan tentang seorang jejaka yang meminati kung fu. Satu hari, dia telah kembali ke zaman cerita cina Journey to the West tu. Terdapat gadis2 cina yang leng lui dalam cerita ini. Ada satu scene yang pasti membuat korang ketawa sehingga sewel. Pertelingkahan antara Jet Li dan Jackie Chan juga agak menarik.

Ratings: $$$
Spoiler: Sami itu ialah salah satu bulu monyet.

Thanks. Ahlan wa sahlan wal allughatul arabiah wahidun.



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