Thursday, October 6, 2011

Tanda-Tanda Anda Ketagihan Permainan Video

Hai apa khabar pembaca? Pernahkah anda menonton siri The Online Gamer di Youtube di channel Reckless Tortuga? Aku rasa siri tersebut adalah lucu dan ohsem kerana aku mudah untuk relate dengan karekter utamanya Aaron. Aaron adalah seorang jejaka yang anda tidak inginkan sebagai teman hidup kerana sifat-sifat mazmumahnya yang kita akan bincangkan sebentar lagi. Namun begitu, sejak mendapat hadiah hantaran PS3 secara pramatang ni, sedikit demi sedikit aku pula telah membentuk keperibadian keji seperti Aaron. Sebelum ini, aku memang gemar bermain permainan video pun, cuma sekarang je baru mula main secara online. Selalunya orang yang ketagihan akan sesuatu ini akan hidup dalam denial, dan tidak mahu mengaku yang mereka sebenarnya bermasalah dah perlukan bantuan. Kau ingat ada ketagihan dadah dan alkohol saja? Ketagihan permainan video adalah izhar halqi, yakni jelas dan nyata. Ayuh teruskan membaca untuk mengetahui apakah tanda-tanda anda ketagihan permainan video.

1) Anda bersukan dengan kerap. Anda main bola sepak, main bola keranjang, main hoki ais, main tenis dan main papan luncur. Tetapi semua sukan itu dimainkan dalam FIFA 12, NBA 2k12, NHL 12, Virtua Tennis 4 mahupun Skate 3. Dalam kata lain, aktiviti riadah anda telah digantikan secara maya.

2) Diet anda kini terdiri daripada minuman tenaga Red Bull ataupun kopi Kacip Fatimah. Makan pula sekadar Roti Bilis Gardenia ataupun Burger Liplapp yang dihantar ke rumah. Makan pun mesti depan televisyen ataupun monitor bagi menambah produktiviti. Dah habis makan plastik sampah letak saja di sekeliling sehingga datang ulat sampah. Ezajerit lebih ni.

3) Hubungan dengan keluarga semakin renggang, teman wanita call pun buat-buat tak dengar saja nada dering Bruno Mars tu kerana terlalu asyik membunuh makhluk asing di dalam Resistance 3. Ok poin ini mungkin boleh dibangkang kerana permainan video juga boleh merapatkan hubungan sesama keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Aku beli game Little Big Planet 2 sebab nak bermain bersama da'killa. Topik perbualan pun asyik berkisar tentang video game kita eksaited gila bercerita tentang Battlefield 3 walaupun orang tak berminat nak dengar.


4) Hardcore gamers ada set kosa kata sendiri. Jika anda perhatikan mereka bermain game, anda boleh dengar jeritan-jeritan yang mostly carutan disertakan dengan kata-kata yang mungkin asing bagi anda. Ayuh kita kaji beberapa contoh:

a. n00b. noob ataupun newbie selalu dijerit ketika bertemu pemain lain yang tidak sehandal kita dan membuat kesilapan-kesilapan amatur ketika bermain. Kalau yang main MMORPG tu nampak je orang level rendah daripada dia semua dijerit noob.

b. Campers. Campers adalah hina di sisi hardcore gamers terutamanya yang bermain First Person Shooter (FPS) seperti siri Call of Duty mahupun Halo di mana pemain akan berkumpul dan menyorok (camping) di sesuatu sudut sebelum membunuh lawan secara beramai-ramai. Tiada telurlah senang cerita.

c. pwned. Ayat asal adalah 'Owned' typo jadi pwned. Jika Cikgu BI anda suruh buat ayat, kita boleh gunakan ayat ini "HEADSHOT BITCH! YOU JUST GOT PWNED NOOB CAMPERS" di mana dalam situasi tersebut kita bersama membunuh semua campers tanpa mengalami kecederaan sedikit pun.

5) Anda ada jadual untuk bermain game. Ya, jadual secara literal yang ditampal di dinding untuk menguruskan masa anda bermain permainan video secara optimum. Ini termasuklah jadual untuk anda tidur dan kita boleh lihat dalam jadual itu waktu tidur anda tidak menentu dan tidak melebihi 3 jam bagi kes-kes yang ekstrim. Barbie mana boleh tidur lagi selagi tak dapat beli adik Messi dalam Ultimate Team Fifa 12. Setiap kali selepas solat, anda tidak lupa untuk berdoa kepada Tuhan agar memberi anda lebih masa untuk bermain game.

6) Anda ada ramai kawan tetapi nama kawan-kawan anda semuanya aneh-aneh dan susah untuk disebut seperti MrHan3z, NotSureWhatIWant, flamestar86, saiko_sid mahupun CutMeIdBleedBlackAndWhite.

7) Ketika berada di alam percintaan, anda mungkin selalu rasa seperti kupu-kupu berterbangan di perut di mana hormon ghairah dibebaskan. Bagi mereka yang ketagihan permainan video, perasaan seronok ketika bercinta itu muncul ketika anda bermain game. Ada juga yang terus inzal dan wajib mandi setelah mengalahkan bos terakhir dalam God of War. Emosi bercampur baur yang dipancarkan di kaca televisyen diserap di dalam diri so tidak hairanlah jika ada yang mengalir air mata ataupun air mazi. Kadang-kadang bila dah kena pwned dengan orang putih masa main Black Ops kita sampai terbawa-bawa emosi marah dan aib itu ke tempat kerja ataupun universiti sehingga mengganggu pembelajaran kita.

8) Anda mula mengalami masalah-masalah kesihatan seperti carpal tunnel syndrome akibat terlalu lama memegang mouse kerana anda adalah Prince of Azeroth. Kalau dibuat scan terhadap tulang belakang anda memang dah komfen ada Osteoporosis. Masalah hygiene pun kena ambil kira. Kalau time weekend tu kalau tak ada date dengan teman wanita buat apa nak mandi ataupun potong kuku ye tak. Lagipun jimat bil air nanti.

9) Jika hendak menstereotypekan bentuk fizikal seorang gamer, kita boleh cakap mereka pakai spek mata, tubuh kurus tapi ada barbican belly, pakai tshirt Windows 7. Dan jangan nak tunjuk terer cakap pasal IT dengan mereka kerana nanti ego mereka tercabar.

10) Bagaimana dengan casual gamers? Kalau tengok di news feed mereka di Fesbuk, memang penuh dengan notifikasi naik pangkat Ah Long Wars, hadiah daripada jiran-jiran dalam Sims Social mahupun pemberitahuan tentang lembu sesat di ladang ternakan mereka. Game sebegini tiada ultimate goal, maka kau akan bermain sepanjang masa setiap kali berada di hadapan komputer di tempat kerja mahupun di dalam lab subjek Multimedia System Design anda. Oh by the way the Sims Social memang tengah up sekarang lebih up daripada membeli Sugar Glider jika anda tak main anda memang n00b.


11) Harga PC anda lebih mahal daripada Honda EX5. Gila apa pakai generic mouse? Paling koman pun Razer Mamba Wired Wireless Gaming Mouse 5600DPI. Monitor? Alah cucuk saja ke TV 42 inci full HD tu.

12) Anda menggunakan wang sebenar untuk membeli barang-barang tidak benar di dalam game seperti kostum renang terbaru, map baru, mahupun Pedang Api Syurga Meragut Lalang agar tidak kalah dengan rival-rival online anda.

13) Gamers yang membaca artikel ini, anda menafikan sekeras-kerasnya yang anda ketagihan permainan video.

Jika anda membaca entri ini dan menyedari ciri-ciri yang disebutkan di atas dipamerkan oleh orang yang tersayang, bantulah mereka. Or maybe you can just leave them alone.....noobs.



29 comments:

ajmalamin said...

noobs.HAHA
lame giler xsentuh game neh
sekarang maen GG je la!adoi

Harris H said...

wahaha,recommend you get the uncharted series the new one will be out this early november.players in uc are well balanced mentaly i.e have a life,family,etc.matchmaking feature mcm tahu what type of player u are,kid you not:)

Faizal Rosly said...

ajmalamin: GG tu apa gossip girl ke

harris: uncharted 3 has to wait because in november......SKYRIM

Sandokhan said...

pergh...ulasan yang superb! sebijik-sebijik aku terkena...hahaha

crazy_labelle said...

Haha... Terbaik...
Tp asal review keburukan je?
Kebaikkan pon ade gak...
Cth nya xkuar rumah mlm2 n etc2...

The Sharkox said...

housmate aku gila game. sanggup dia semayang isya tepat pada waktunya pasal dia kata dalam pukul 915 ada wars dengan clan2 dari indon dan korea dalam game fesbuk, apa nama game itu entah aku tidak tahu. dan juga sanggup bangun pukul 3 pagi bukan utk semayang tahajud tapi untuk perkara yang sama, wars dalam fesbuk...

aku hanya tau bermain fifa sahaja. kali terakhir aku main ialah fifa 2009..sekian

Anonymous said...

jai..
lagi satu point,bile wang simpanan tabung haji ngan duit dlm tabung dilaburkan kpd apek2 penjual cd game..sanggup tak pegi lunch sebab nak save duit beli game ps3..mahal tu..check bil kad kredit pun penuh ngan nama kedai2 game..haha..


ps:jgn beli bekmen arkham city ngan uncharted 3..aku nak beli..kau beli skyrim..dark souls rating mcm gagah je..


-shuhud-

che sakinah said...

Wah! fasih betul kau bahasa game. hah hah.
aku cuma tahu main game bricks saja.
'next block' adalah kata2 yg tidak asing lagi. hah hah.

Aslina said...

cancel la aku beli ps3 nak buat hadiah upsr kat anak buah aku nanti...

kang tak pasal aku plak terpengaruh. bukan boleh harap aku nih...

bahaya... bahaya...

aku nak beli encyclopedia britannica ah kat dia nanti. muahahaha...

Rosa said...

Ijai apa kata u tulis pasal tanda tanda orang tu Poyo.... Au tak tahan wei dgn org poyo ni, takde menda pung tapi cakap suka ekzejerit, takde phd takde MD takde MBBS tapi kat email and profile facebook taruk gelaran Doktor kat diri sendiri (even "Phd" universiti cakerawala sri lanka pun takde!), thanks

mijie said...

Aku rasa aku x tergolong kot..sebab sumpah aku x paham pon entry ko kali ni Jai...hehe...

profwacko said...

bro faizal, kalau ko ade beli game Dark Souls tu... add aku gak nnt

evil_profwacko

hehe

Anonymous said...

mustahil gile adik messi. bila nk lwn on9 nih? aku baru on9 jap td tp ko lak baru offline haha mesti kalah FUT kecewa terus tido

-dazrul-

Faizal Rosly said...

sandokhan: mostly merujuk kepada diri sendiri sebenarnya

labelle: ketagihan adalah keburukan dan keburukannya adalah lebih banyak daripada kebaikan

sharkox: mm itu dah kena bawa berubat kampung tu

abe: ewahhh memanglah kau suruh aku beli skyrim kau tak main rpg

che sakinah: noo.....eh

aslina: bagus.....tapi kalau dia dapat semua a bagi jelah. eh

rosa: hah saya dalam setiap entri ezajerit apa

mijie: alhamdulillah

profwacko: dark souls....kalau beli pun lama lagi kot.banyak game yang nak dibeli dalam beberapa bulan ni battlefield 3 saints row 3 arhghghgh

dazu: kau ni waktu kita berbeza kau kenalah ikut waktu tempatan. setakat ni orang paling handal aku adalah raul haha

Anonymous said...

dazu nanti habis je exam aku nak tidur rumah kau hujung minggu kita main online sampai ke subuh. ahhh

adam

Mia said...

Saya, Aida Emira, mengaku bahawasanya saya adalah gamer yang terlampau addicted.

Blame World of Warcraft! Dan blame boyfriend kerana mengajar!

Last semester haritu (5 bulan lepas) kena Carpal Tunnel Syndrome teruk sangat sampai tak boleh tidur. Sampai kena pergi hospital dan check. Doctor bagi ubat & splint suruh pakai all the time melainkan masa nak mandi. But baru je 2 minggu lepas kena balik sebab gara-gara nak naikkan level Frost Mage ku.

Tue belum lagi kes kena repair laptop 2 kali sebab crash -_- Noob betul hehe.

Agak-agak ada tak perempuan lain main game sampai teruk begini? Sebab rasa macam pelik je.

Faizal Rosly said...

kena pergi jumpa harun din ni aida

nub said...

noobster detected.

hahahahahhaa

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